The Indian Traffic Army
After having driven in Chennai for two months, and having braved many a rush-hour snarl, I had plenty of opportunity to contemplate the world around me ...
And nothing describes the Chennai traffic chaos better than the word "war". And indeed it is a war of quite a large scale, with every vehicle fighting each other for every inch of road length and the blaring horns serving as the modern-day war conches.
And what if you were to form an army with vehicles picked from the Indian roads ? What would they be ? And what roles would they play ?
Autos would be a definite pick. With their mobility and their ability to squeeze into the narrowest of spaces. In addition, thee Auto regiment possesses some of our bravest drivers, who would risk their lives for an inch of tar.
Fish Carts are another obvious choice with their unwieldy frames that are almost impossible to steer clear off. Their ability to make a clean scratch down the entire length of your vehicle, leaving you with no recourse even with the Police, because no case can be filed against an unregistered vehicle, which according to the city records, does not exist !
Some good, beat-up buses for sure. Some sprinters from the Chennai Transportation Corporation and some marathoners from the cadres of the ECR by-pass riders. And some crabby conductors with the ear-splitting whistles ...
And what about some good ol' beat-up trucks ? Some ancient Fargo's maybe ? Or some Tata's with a fierce looking good luck charm mask of a devil with a tongue hanging out. But then, what could be scarier than a 12 year old cleaner driving a 3000 cc truck !
Imagine a scenario where this Indian motor army was fighting an urban war with the "German Army" ... The German army, with the latest of technology with a fleet of BMW's sedans, Benz Smart Cars, Volvo trucks ...
Imagine the two going head to head in the Chennai, with all of its narrow streets and potholes. I think the Germans would be beaten to death and I can imagine what their fleet would look like after the "war" - Windshields completely covered with paan, about 25 Indians in each back seat (wearing plastic helmets for some reason), a crushed pumpkin on the top, lime juice in the driver's eye, a couple of kids selling dust cloths on the bonnet and an entire auto in the front passenger seat - Not a pretty picture.
Maybe thats why the Iraqi insurgents are beating the crap out of the US Army.
And nothing describes the Chennai traffic chaos better than the word "war". And indeed it is a war of quite a large scale, with every vehicle fighting each other for every inch of road length and the blaring horns serving as the modern-day war conches.
And what if you were to form an army with vehicles picked from the Indian roads ? What would they be ? And what roles would they play ?
Autos would be a definite pick. With their mobility and their ability to squeeze into the narrowest of spaces. In addition, thee Auto regiment possesses some of our bravest drivers, who would risk their lives for an inch of tar.
Fish Carts are another obvious choice with their unwieldy frames that are almost impossible to steer clear off. Their ability to make a clean scratch down the entire length of your vehicle, leaving you with no recourse even with the Police, because no case can be filed against an unregistered vehicle, which according to the city records, does not exist !
Some good, beat-up buses for sure. Some sprinters from the Chennai Transportation Corporation and some marathoners from the cadres of the ECR by-pass riders. And some crabby conductors with the ear-splitting whistles ...
And what about some good ol' beat-up trucks ? Some ancient Fargo's maybe ? Or some Tata's with a fierce looking good luck charm mask of a devil with a tongue hanging out. But then, what could be scarier than a 12 year old cleaner driving a 3000 cc truck !
Imagine a scenario where this Indian motor army was fighting an urban war with the "German Army" ... The German army, with the latest of technology with a fleet of BMW's sedans, Benz Smart Cars, Volvo trucks ...
Imagine the two going head to head in the Chennai, with all of its narrow streets and potholes. I think the Germans would be beaten to death and I can imagine what their fleet would look like after the "war" - Windshields completely covered with paan, about 25 Indians in each back seat (wearing plastic helmets for some reason), a crushed pumpkin on the top, lime juice in the driver's eye, a couple of kids selling dust cloths on the bonnet and an entire auto in the front passenger seat - Not a pretty picture.
Maybe thats why the Iraqi insurgents are beating the crap out of the US Army.
Comments
Have a nice day,
Ponnarasi Kothandaraman.